UnExpected (The Fighter Series Book 2) Page 18

  He pulls his shirt over his head and drops it on the floor. Oh. My…I swallow hard. His back doesn’t have any tattoos except where the ones on his arms wrap around his shoulders. Muscles pop with his every movement.

  “Can you hand me my shirt?” he asks the corner. “I can’t reach it without having to turn.”

  I grab it and toss it on his shoulders.

  Slowly, I step out of my shoes and unbutton my pants with my eyes glued to the mirror. There isn’t a way around this. I’ve never mastered the art of getting in and out of pants quickly. I hesitate for a moment reminding myself I’ve got panties on covering up all the good stuff.

  I slide my legs into the softest pair of pants I’ve ever felt and roll the waist up. My heart stops hearing his zipper and I glance up as he pulls them down.

  “You dressed?” he asks.

  “Yeah.” I think I drooled that out.

  “Good,” he says turning around and finishes taking them off. “I can’t do this part in the corner.”

  Tattoos cross the tight, smooth skin of his muscular chest, which looks much bigger without a shirt on. His six-pack abs are firm ridges and his waist melts into the distinctively arousing V. His boxers are loose and black, hiding everything but amplifying my imagination.

  “Do you like what you see, Paige?” he asks so freaking provocatively I swear I just melted.

  My cheeks are on fire. “I…um…” I stutter, completely and utterly at a loss for words. “Sorry.”

  Keeping his distance, he tucks a finger under my chin forcing me to face him. “It’s okay. A gratifying compliment. I’ll take it.”

  Icy blue hypnotizes me and I’m lost somewhere in the most titillating gaze. My heart prances at the zing in the air. A thrilling arousal thickens the area around us.

  He steps toward me, running his hand down my arm. A blazing buzz follows his fingertips stealing my breath.

  “You have the most extraordinary green eyes,” he whispers thickly.

  My feet don’t move. I’m terrified and aroused, solidified from a blissful fear. He moves a strand of my hair from my face.

  “Paige…” He says my name and then places his lips to mine. Gripping the side of my neck, he drags his thumb over my cheek. It’s sensual, only our lips bonding each other. Heat tingles my skin and my body finally reacts falling into him. With my hand on his chest, I can feel his heart pounding. He slides his hand down my neck, over my shoulder and pulls me into a passionate kiss.

  His tongue glides over mine, his skillful movements building intensity. He drags his other hand up my ribs, around to the center of my back and pulls me into his chest. He inhales my breaths, keeping the pace slow and steady.

  Suddenly, I’m well aware of my surroundings. “I…I can’t do this,” I breathe out.

  “Your lips taste better than I imagined,” he says huskily.

  He pushes his hips into me driving his erection against my pelvis. My eyes roll and he takes to my mouth again with more eagerness.

  My heart is pounding. My sex is throbbing. A blaze of fire ignites as he drags his hands between my aching breasts, down my stomach and dips below my panty line.

  “Fuck, Paige. You’re soaked,” he says against my lips. “You want me that bad?”

  Flashes of Levi storm me. Quick glimmers of how all this felt with him. My heart lurches into my throat and I grip Ryker’s hand, stopping him from going any further.

  “I can’t do this,” I say more confidently, stepping back to create some space.

  “I’m not going to make love to you in the bathroom, Paige.”

  My mind is its own enemy fighting against my body, which has become a begging traitor. If that kiss was just a taste of what he’s like in bed…

  He nips at my neck and I drop my head back sighing. My knees feel weak. His finger slides across my clit and it jolts me.

  “Ryker, stop. I can’t do this.”

  He does, pulling his hand from my pants and drops his forehead to mine. “That felt unbelievably perfect,” he exhales softly.

  I push him back gently. “I need to go.”

  I’m frantic to get out of here.

  He searches my eyes, concern donning in his expression. “What’s wrong?”

  Tears well up. “I’m not ready for this. It felt…” I swallow shaking my head. “I want more of it, but it feels wrong. I’m not ready for this. I’m sorry.” I slide down the wall and duck under his arm.

  He grabs me and twists me around, pulling me right back into his chest. “Don’t do this, Paige. You’re only making yourself suffer. I know you felt that. I bet everyone in the apartment complex felt the building rock. Don’t deprive yourself of a future because of your past.”

  I blink back the tears. “My heart is still in pieces and regardless of how you feel, I know the timing is wrong. I haven’t healed. Levi still holds a very large part of me and it wouldn’t be fair to either one of us if we continue.”

  “Don’t deny what you felt,” he adds with desperation in his voice.

  “I’m not.”

  Our stares linger and I finally turn away, shutting the door behind me.

  I’m in a near sprint as I grab my purse with tears falling to my cheeks. “I forgot my clothes in the bathroom. I’ll get them later. I’m sorry, I’ve got to go.”

  Holly’s eyes are wide. “Is everything—”

  I shut the door.

  Chapter 32

  I’ve done nothing but dwell in my guilt for two days. I haven’t answered Holly’s calls or texts and I’ve called into work, hiding from the world. I just want to be alone and sort through the tangled mess of my emotions.

  I feel so guilty. What I felt with Ryker felt good…too good and it scared the hell out of me. I didn’t feel a tug in my chest, but I know I could fall and I don’t want to. I’m not ready to hand over my heart to someone who reminds me so much of the very person I’m still reeling over. I’m too petrified and it’s the fear that keeps me away, a breathtaking panic.

  I’m right back at the beginning stages of our break up. I’m crying and talking myself out of calling him and wishing we were still together. I hate myself for washing my sheets and ridding them of his scent. It was the only thing I had left, minus a few pictures on my phone.

  Holly: 2 days and I’m worried sick. If you don’t answer, I’m going to break in.

  Holly: I’m serious.

  I know she’s dead serious and I don’t want my pity party busted up by someone so happy go lucky. I sigh giving in to her threat.

  Me: No need.

  Holly: OMG! Where have you been? You called into work. What the hell happened?

  Me: I’m sure you’ve heard.

  Holly: No I haven’t.

  I groan when my phone rings and exhale with frustration answering.

  “I had to call and make sure I heard your voice. I thought you might have been tied up,” she says too excited for my liking.

  “No I’m not tied up.”

  “Paige, what happened? What’s going on?”

  “Nothing,” I state.

  “You do not pull that shit on me. Don’t you shut me out of whatever happened. I’ve done nothing wrong,” she scolds me.

  “I’m not shutting you out. I just don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Something happened in that bathroom,” she says. “Now someone needs to tell me what. I need to know if I’m lacing my shit-kicking boots, or if I’m bringing chocolate ice cream for you to watch me eat.”

  “Ryker kissed me,” I admit.

  The line silences.

  “That’s it?” she asks quietly.

  “At first I didn’t stop it.”

  “A creature like him kissing me, I wouldn’t stop it at all. What’s the problem?”

  “I don’t know. I’m not ready for it.”

  “Not ready for what? It was a kiss. Could’ve led to insane meaningless sex that exploded your brain and made you walk funny for days. Everyone’s ready for that.”

&n
bsp; “I’m not. I’m not like you. I can’t just fuck. I have emotions behind it.”

  “Girl, I have to teach you how.”

  I laugh. “I’m not getting in the bed with you.”

  “You’d love it,” she teases. “You have to learn to love yourself, girl. Put the pain of yesterday’s past behind you. If it feels good, enjoy it. It did feel good, right?”

  “It was a very passionate kiss,” I tell her.

  “Built up emotions between you both. I knew that was going to happen.”

  “What the heck do you mean?”

  “I’ve watched you and him. You’ve had a thing for him since the first time you laid eyes on his smoking hot ass at that event thingy Levi took you to.”

  “Finding someone good looking doesn’t warrant me having a thing for him,” I snap.

  “Sparks have been firing between you two for weeks now. There’s nothing wrong with it.”

  “I’m not over Levi.”

  “Do you think he’s sulking in his misery?”

  Her words punch me in the gut, smack me across the face, and stomp on my toes. Anguish radiates throughout my whole body.

  “You loved Wesley and got over him. It’s the same with Levi. You’ll get over it. It’s just super nicer you have some sexy ass stimulant to help the process move faster.”

  “I took me years to get over what Wesley did,” I remind her.

  “Yeah, but that’s because you were young and stupid. Now you have experience under your belt and—”

  “I’m never ready for heartbreak,” I interrupt her. “I’m just not ready, okay?”

  “I’m sorry. I just liked seeing you happy.”

  “I enjoyed it too, but I’m still piecing myself back together. My mind isn’t there and neither is my heart. Sex comes with a price. I mean look, a kiss has me so guilt-ridden.”

  “You’re guilt-ridden over a kiss?” she asks in disbelief.

  “Yes.”

  “Paige, your future could be knocking on your door and you may be ignoring it.”

  “Who are you?” I ask laughing.

  “Dr. Holly, here, at your service.”

  “I’m going to stay away for a bit. I know Ryker is about to leave to start training. Do you think you could ask him to please stay away from me?”

  “I don’t think I have to.”

  “Why? What do you mean?”

  “The only thing he said was he crossed a line too soon and he knew he shouldn’t have. He’s not been himself since that evening. I think you should call him and talk to him.”

  “I think I made myself clear in the bathroom.”

  “No. You tried making your point in the bathroom. Guarantee your point was never clear.”

  “I’m not calling him. Besides I don’t have his number.”

  “I think cleaning the slate would do you some good, and hello, newsflash, I can get it!”

  “No thank you. I wouldn’t even know what to say.”

  “Start with, I’m an idiot and you’re hot. Then quickly move onto how you’d like to feel him grinding against the insides of your hips,” she says.

  “Is that all you think about?”

  “Yep. Pretty much,” she chirps. “You’re not ready for a relationship. I get it. But everyone’s ready for sex. I think you’re scared shitless you’ll feel something. If you and him have sex, you’re petrified you’ll instantly hand over your heart. But what if sex doesn’t happen? What if it’s a steamy make out session? You ride his finger. He humps your leg. Do you have to have feelings for that?”

  “I don’t need you criticizing me,” I tell her.

  “I’m not. I’m trying to open your mind up to new things. So you cherish your hoo-hoo. It’s like a damn treasure chest with a hidden key. You realize you can make him work for it until you’re ready? What’s so wrong with allowing yourself some pleasure? Get spoiled, girl!”

  “I’m not liking you right now.”

  “Because you know I’m right. Damn, I need to become a therapist.” She snorts. “Take today and figure the shit out. Get the hell out of the bed, wash your face and get on with yourself. The best thing you’ve ever had might be walking out the door.”

  My phone beeps and all the air expels from my lungs, tightening my throat behind it. Instantly my heart spikes. “Or in,” I squeak. “Levi’s calling. What should I do?”

  “Well…” she drags out. “I’d say answer the call. Maybe it will help you with the closure you need.”

  Chapter 33

  Did you miss me? Of course you did. Who wouldn’t? Yeah, yeah. I’m sure you’re still pretty pissed off at me. Chill out and follow along.

  It’s been several months since I fucked up. I’ve never experienced regret and guilt the way I did. Like a dark little evil bastard shadow, that shit followed me everywhere. I was so inundated with it, my nights became sleepless, my dreams became hopeless, and I just quit fucking caring.

  Shame. Guilt. Those are some wicked feelings. They bring you to your knees and beat the shit out of you with your hands tied behind your back and then hang you outside in the cold with no clothes or food. Pure fucking torture. I’ve overcome ass whoopings better than I have these emotions. And these bad boys took me to a dark place.

  After I called things off with Paige, my life changed. Well, actually I changed it. I experienced gut-wrenching feelings, immobilizing fear and anger. It opened my eyes, proving I needed to change who I was. Don’t you worry your sexy panties off. I’m still me, but I had lost sight of that.

  A lot of shit has changed. Immediately, I quit Katie. She was where she needed to be without me and I needed to be without her. I bowed out peacefully, but damn Cory wanted to throw a fit and threaten me.

  Remember rule number one? You don’t threaten me. I quickly reminded him I could quit him and start over, and that would cost him hundreds of thousands of dollars. Yeah, he’s invested that much into me. Two can play that game. He doesn’t own me—we own each other. I also mentioned that little secrets could accidentally be dropped. I shut him up.

  An influential man once told me if it gains your heart, it’s worth fighting for come hell or high water, ups or downs, and mistakes and successes. If your heart beats for it, fight for it. I fucked up and let guilt ride me like a slut straight from the whorehouse. And instead of manning up, I pussied out. I ran from the problem. Paige tried calling me several times, but I bitched out and never answered the phone.

  I replayed what happened so many times, and I still don’t have the answer as to why I did what I did. I was happy and in love. I made a mistake causing myself my own heartbreak. Nightmares cursed my sleep but I hated facing the day. I know things will never work out between us, but for some reason, I feel I need to make things right.

  And that’s why my heart is fucking thundering in my chest because I’m unsure what the hell is about to happen. For all I know she could be with her boyfriend. I grit my teeth at the thought. If she has one, she better not tell me. I’m liable to beat the shit out of him out of pure raging jealousy. Cocksucker.

  “Hello?” she answers and I melt into the bench.

  “Hey, got a minute?” I force the words from my throat.

  She hesitates. “Yeah, I guess.”

  “God, I’ve missed your fucking voice.”

  “Don’t call me and start. What do you want?” she snaps.

  I smile. “I’ve missed your sassiness.”

  “I’ve got to go,” she mutters.

  “Whoa. Wait a minute,” I rush out hoping she hasn’t already hung up. “I’ll stop.”

  “What do you want?” she repeats.

  “How are you?”

  “Levi…” Her voice cracks and so does my heart. “What’s it matter?”

  “Listen, I’m coming through town soon and I’d like to get together.”

  “I’m not interested,” she says.

  “Sun…Paige, please. All I want to do is talk to you. Nothing more. I promise.”

  I’m s
tarting to sound like a begging damn dog.

  “You have me on the phone so talk.”

  I lick my lips at her sassiness. Such a fucking turn on.

  “I prefer in person,” I tell her.

  Quietness floods the line. She’s debating it and my knee is bouncing from the anticipation. It’s either game on or off.

  “I’ll probably be working,” she finally answers.

  I chuckle. “You know that’s never stopped me before.”

  She exhales her frustrations. “I don’t have anything to say to you.”

  “Good. That gives me the time I need to say the things that I need to say.”

  Ah, silence again. Wonder what will win this battle—her mind or her heart? Regardless, I feel it’s a checkmate.

  “When are you coming?” she asks.

  I drop my shoulders in relief. “When do you have a day off?”

  “You tell me when you’re coming through and I’ll tell you if I’m off or not.”

  “I can be there tomorrow or next week. What works best for you?”

  Do you see that I’m trying to play Mr. Nice Guy? If the shit was up to me, I’d be there tonight to talk to her and not play this stupid game.

  “Next week works better for me. What day?”

  She’s so clipped and I love it because I know she’s hiding her feelings with bitchiness. Don’t get me wrong, I deserve it.

  “Sunday?” I ask remembering that used to be her day off.

  “Fine. Where?”

  “Your house.”

  “No.” I’ve never heard a word said so quickly.

  I swallow my annoyance. “You make the decision where and text me Saturday to let me know. Sound good?”

  “Sure.”

  “Alright. I’ll talk to you then.”

  She hangs up and I rest my head on the gray concrete wall laughing at myself. I was so far out of my fucking element. I had no game like a damn virgin. No smooth lines, no witty comebacks…nada.

  I’m only a few hours away at home in Tennessee. I had to get back here and get myself back together. I hit the gym I started out at when I was a kid. It hasn’t changed much. Jacob, the owner, has gotten older but still remembered me. Back then he had just bought the place and it desperately needed some attention. It was run down pretty badly with busted out windows, chipped up cement floors, and the plumbing didn’t work half the time.